Proceed Calmly

If you are alarmed by someone’s verbal abuse it is important to calm those vrittis first before you take action. Sometimes the vrittis do not calm down but at least you do not botch your response to objectionable behavior. I was going to leave Sunday’s trolling unpleasantness alone until I saw that my friend was still being harassed in the comments section of her new blog entry. So after a very mentally busy home practice (it started snowing when I was about to leave) I decided to do a little retired suburban housewife with time on her hands online research. It is important to save a copy of everything you find, because for example if I had not saved an image of who could potentially be my friend’s and my tormentor, It would have disappeared by today and that image was quite helpful. Then you just need patience and time until you will eventually find a Facebook page, a LinkedIn presence with a place of employment, several Indian marriage/matchmaking registries with his data, a youtube channel, and several threads where there are inquiries about job searches in a certain Scandinavian country. So, what do you do with all this which you copied, saved, AND even printed you may ask? You take it to your local police department, You share it with your friend should she want to take it the Mysore Police Dept. and Maybe also offer it to her husband here in the states should he want to take further action. If you still have oodles of time you might want to investigate how to send this to the local police department in certain Scandinavian city, that matches his LinkedIn profile, and of course share with as many yogi friends who might want to know how to avoid receiving insults and threats. Being only 29 is no excuse for bad manners. But you have to do all this before you reveal what you collected andย  generously shared because then of course there will be a lot of panicked but too late deleting. Oh, and report the verbal abuse to WordPress, but I haven’t heard from them yet.

21 thoughts on “Proceed Calmly

  1. Oh wow! I’m sorry a friend of yours is getting trolled. That happened to me once. There was a very unhinged person who was publicly trashing me on Facebook but then went BALLISTIC & totally nutty when I justifiably deleted her from my friend list. But I found out through the grapevine from another she’d harassed in the past the name of her place of employment. Get this: she’s a principal at a fancy girls’ school. It’s very Pink Floyd no? All I had to do was threaten her once with this bit of knowledge and she left me alone forever after.

    I never understand people who insist on reading content they find offensive!! But then, if they go all stalker, clearly there’s more than one screw loose.

  2. B, I remember when that happened to you and I took a page from that handbook. It was on my mind all day. Take a look at what he left on my about page, and I stupidly deleted another one where he was threatening me and revealed that he had gone through all my profile and cover photos. He demanded that I remove the photos of Deities. I don’t care how alone he feels and how xenophobic it is where he lives, that is no excuse to unload like a hysterical nutjob to a stranger online. This coming right after reading that Wendy Doniger’s book The Hindus was banned in India.

    • Oh my! Ahem. I couldn’t remember if I’d known you as far back as my own thing went, but yes, blogging is mostly passe these days and the yoga community is mostly reasonable, but every now & then one of these types turns up.

      I know how you feel though. Even though you know you’re dealing with crazy it still rankles. Do you remember as far back as the infamous Zee? Back when I first started blogging he got his crazy out, and he’d “attack” everyone in my blogging circle one at a time. It was almost a rite of passage. I’m probably too old to be deemed such now, but I was the “bimbo”, btw.

      I hadn’t heard about the book banning but I did see something on Angie’s blog about a rise of fascism in India. It’s not just India! For all of that I have no words. It’s too much for me after a crazy Monday in the office.

      • I think you’ll feel better with the offensive poop removed from your doorstep.

        Currently reading about murderous Indian tribes in old Texas, but the book is good. Pandora classical is going. I will toast to you & your peace of mind this Monday evening ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. The internet is no longer the Wild West that it used to be in the olden days. These days you can go to jail for threats and abuse. It can also affect your current or future employment. Well done for collecting and presenting the evidence.

  4. Ha! Good for you and us! And you called it. I see the attacker changed his blogger profile photo! Thanks for the detective work!

    • Yes, he got nervous before I handed all this in, because he changed the photo before I started poking around, and I did not know yet what I was going to do with that screen shot.

  5. This reminds me of when my friend got an obscene phone caller (remember those? Caller ID put an end to that) to stop harassing us by waiting for him to call again and then letting loose such a stream of obscenity and filth that he hung up and was gone forever. These assholes just want it instill fear and when that backfires, away they go back to their cowardly holes. This post lets that guy know we have his number. I predict we shall hear no more from him. And I agree: you are totally my hero!!

  6. Not yet. I hope he is not harassing you. In the future, I do plan to take a screen shot, then mark him as spam and never let him appear on my screen. It looks like he craves human contact and wants to see himself listened to. If he does not get that on screen he is silenced, and he has to look for relief some where else.

  7. No but I noticed on your friend’s blog, someone else engaging him to stop and be continues his crazy rant. Maybe she should make the blog private for awhile so as you say he doesn’t use it to get attention.

    • I think everybody has figured out that deleting or marking as spam is a good solution. That way there is no immediate gratification and it stops. I erased everything after documenting and it is like he never existed.

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