I have always been a worrier. I have avoided many things out of over thinking the outcome, but I don’t think I have felt fear that often. Maybe the first half hour of 9/11 and the rest have been times that I have watched or read fiction that made me want not to have ever been born. So for perspective today, here is an example of upper middle class over educated mostly white worry:
Wondering if your breathing might cause you harm while you are trying to float back like the ex super model mother of 4 married to the billionaire while you have the body you have. Just try to remember to listen to your teacher when she reminds you that equal, full deep breathing is the best way to practice equanimity.
Here is an example of an impolite not very well thought out expression of fear:
Fear is reading the news and finding out that there is a town in CA that no longer has running water. Looking at a photo of thousands of walruses that have nowhere else to go and are beached in the coast of Alaska. Reading Quinn Norton’s latest on Medium https://medium.com/message/whiteness-3ead03700322 and realizing how really effed up our social constructs are. It is suddenly understanding that an angry enough and dejected human being does not even have to be insane, just a product of enough humiliated and pissed off generations in order to cause a cataclysm in the geographical place they blame the most for their despair. I hope the NSA/FBI/CIA do not come after me for saying this, but what is to prevent an unhinged person to get intentionally sick, travel to lets say here. sneeze on his hanky and then smear it all over the poles of the IRT on the way downtown and then on the poles of the BMT on the way back uptown and then while at it cough all over the downstairs food court of grand central for payback? You might not want to come and read here again, and even though I feel a lot better than I did this morning before practice, this fall does not feel like any other fall.